excited

I'm So excited now, Im going to Adz tomorrow for Christmas. Ive missed him so much its daft. Im pleased that im started to pick up abit to although im still very tired and seem to sleep for hours on end now. Having kidney failure is making me see that life isn't going to be easy by far. Im struddling to do simple things like shower and wash my hair, I have no car so Im dependent on public transport or friends, neither are helpful at times. I feel quite scared for my future as I know Im going to end up having a carer as i can't do these normal simple things any more. I feel like my life is slipping away and with it my inderpendance.
Ive never had any help from anyone before and this really feels very strange to me. I have hopes and dreams I want to do but the last few weeks of me being unwell has put things on hold for now.
Just wish there was something simple I could do to be the kitty I used to be. Five years ago I was running and swimming, doing yoga three times a week. Now I have the energy of a tadpole and can write my blog and drink tea. Think the day that I can't drink tea is the day my life ends for good. I love my tea.
im looking forward to Xmas and spending morte time with the man I love. the feelings I have for this guy are unreal. something Ive only ever heard from others or read in books.
I see a very happy future with Adz, hes my everything and seems to get me where others don't.
I also hope that those in the CF world all get their wishes if their waiting for a lung transplant. It must be very difficult for them and their families. I'm thinking of one young lady called Jess, shes had a rough ride and now really needs those new lungs.
When I have a down day I think of people li8ke Jess and then everythings put right. What the hell do I need to moan about when theres a young las waiting for new lungs. She shows more strength then I ever could. Its people like her who inspire me. Keeping everything crossed for jess and others that santa gives them the greatest gift in the world......... being able to breathe free and a start of a new life.
much lovies to ya all
xxxx