Should have been a great Xmas instead it was bollocks

Sorry for not posting sooner but alot has happened to this little kitty and I wish it was good news but it aint.
I set off to get to Adz place on themonday like planned. I was tired but wasn't feeling too bad. when i got to Adz I was really feeling knackered but put it down to the journey.
Tuesday I woke up feeling worse and very dizzy and sick. I couldn't seem to wake up properly so we stayed in for the day. This dizzy feeling kept getting worse as the week went on, almost like i was drunk and i could walk straight, the feeling was horrible and quite scary.
come Friday I was really looking bad and had bad acid reflux. I wobbled out of bed and went to the kitchen to get something to help the acid.
As i took the stuff I brought my head forward but couldn't stop myself and smacked my head on the kitchen work top splitting the side of my head very very close to my eye. I fell to the floor which is where Adz found me..bleeding
Adz got me to the sofa and took my temp which was very low. He wrapped me up in clothes to try and get me warm but it didn't seem to do anything.
Adz said he was taking me to A & E to get seen as I could see he was worried
We spent the day in A&E and I ended up on the Admin ward while they decided what to do.
The reason for me being ill was my kidneys and my calcium levels were sky high.
I spent 4 days there before Adz had to drive me 255 miles back to my hospital because noone could get transport to take me back. i'd had no treatment in those few days and wasn't improving.
I got back to my hospital and spent my xmas day all alone with nothing..no presants, no family total shite day.
Ive got my lappy in hospital nopw which is why im able to update you all now. My kidneys have packed up and im waiting for the Drs to make their minds up about dialysis. As for new year well im going to be in hospital as im too ill  for them to let me go in case something happens. All my plans for new year are out the window and i feel alone and frightened. im trying hard to keep my chin up but its difficult.
I want to say a huge thank you to Adz for looking after me, comming to see me every day, buying food in so i could have a good meal, and for driving me 255 miles back to get my treatment sorted. he was a total star and im forever grateful and most of all i love him with all my heart
laters xxx

excited

I'm So excited now, Im going to Adz tomorrow for Christmas. Ive missed him so much its daft. Im pleased that im started to pick up abit to although im still very tired and seem to sleep for hours on end now. Having kidney failure is making me see that life isn't going to be easy by far. Im struddling to do simple things like shower and wash my hair, I have no car so Im dependent on public transport or friends, neither are helpful at times. I feel quite scared for my future as I know Im going to end up having a carer as i can't do these normal simple things any more. I feel like my life is slipping away and with it my inderpendance.
Ive never had any help from anyone before and this really feels very strange to me. I have hopes and dreams I want to do but the last few weeks of me being unwell has put things on hold for now.
Just wish there was something simple I could do to be the kitty I used to be. Five years ago I was running and swimming, doing yoga three times a week. Now I have the energy of a tadpole and can write my blog and drink tea. Think the day that I can't drink tea is the day my life ends for good. I love my tea.
im looking forward to Xmas and spending morte time with the man I love. the feelings I have for this guy are unreal. something Ive only ever heard from others or read in books.
I see a very happy future with Adz, hes my everything and seems to get me where others don't.
I also hope that those in the CF world all get their wishes if their waiting for a lung transplant. It must be very difficult for them and their families. I'm thinking of one young lady called Jess, shes had a rough ride and now really needs those new lungs.
When I have a down day I think of people li8ke Jess and then everythings put right. What the hell do I need to moan about when theres a young las waiting for new lungs. She shows more strength then I ever could. Its people like her who inspire me. Keeping everything crossed for jess and others that santa gives them the greatest gift in the world......... being able to breathe free and a start of a new life.
much lovies to ya all
xxxx

Love and Loss

I've been thinking of those who have come into and out of my life the last few days. I've had many relationships fail because of the other person cheating..I never understood why people do that. One of the people I loved 100% and lost was Patrick. Paddy was a top dude with so much love and laughter to give. When he passed away a huge hole was left in my life and I don't think theres a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Adz isn't one for writing I love you much, it kinda hurts in a way as I love this guy so much and I often wonder if he feels the same way. I know i'm not like one of his Exs and never will be, I also know he thought the world of her. I guess everyone gets insurcure and worries ...well thats me.
Only time will tell if it will work, tho if it doesn't Im not going thro another relationship again...it hurts too much.
I'm going to see Adz next week, I'm excited as I haven't seen him for a bit. starting to feel better altho the sickie feelings don't go till afternoon... bloody kidneys.
Trying to write more stories to keep me busy and on Friday Im seeing my mate mick...YAY!
Well thats all as I need a brew
laters fellow hedgehogs
xxx

It's tough work being a kitty

I've been busy with tons of things trying to get ready for my visit to Adz. I'm a very romantic little kitty at heart and love to write poems. I have written a few since being with Adz. I find being away from him difficult, never been this much in love before..its great.
I've been suffering with tiredness and feeling dizzy and sick the last week. Its all to do with my renal failure and it gets me down.
I used to be able to run 8 miles a day and swim for as long as i wanted about 5 years ago but now I find it difficult to hold a cup of tea. The day I can't srink tea on my own is the day I end it all I tell you. I hope that if Im lucky enough to get a new kidney that I can get my fitness back to that level again if not better.
In 2005 I did 13 miles of the London marathon, which I was megga proud of as I onl;y trained for three months before and was also told only to do a mile as my renal function was getting worse. Of course I never listen to the docs as if I did I'd never get on in life and do amasing things.
When I'm 100% again I promise I'll do the whole marathon and stick two fingers up to those who think i can't do anything.
I'm lucky CF wise as I have little problems that way, my diabetes is ok but its hard to keep on top of sugar levels with the diet I have.
Life is hard for us all I guess but God to have good health would be fabaroo. I'm sick of being sick and want to party hard like a rock star but sadly theres none of that... well till Xmas then bugger it all.
My life apart from my health is fantastic... I can't believe how Adz has changed my life, hes a good soul and I think the world of him
Anyhoo thats all for now
later gaters
xxx

Happy being kitty

Ive had the best day today. spent most of it with my bestest friend in the world who has just come out of hospital. He's been a total sweetheart and has given a joint gift for me and Adz which was the kindest thing anyones ever done.
All exciting stuff from now on, the next week will fly by as im megga busy Mon, Tues and Wed but this is good cos then on the 14th im off down south for Crimbo!!!!!! WOOHOO
Watching the X factor and been online since teatime but enjoying being on the tinternet and drinking tea. My house mates out tonight which is good.
Spent yesterday trying to tidy my bedroom which looked like a jumble sale. I can now see the floor and what colour my carpet is meant to be instead of jeans , socks, shirts and plastic bags.
Not doing alot tomorrow but must post my Xmas cards. Think i'm ready for xmas now got all my pressies done and wrapped.
Wrapping presants isn't a talent I was born with and me and the tape fell out many times.
My kidneys are being good...Shhhhhhhhhh. My left kidnet is cecil and the right is Burt and cecil is the naughty one. He gives me alot of pain and makes me feel soooo sick. Since having my Iron infection the other week I feel less tired which is brillopads...till the next one anyhoo
Im so blissfully happy, Adz has made my life such a brighter place. Im very much loved and in love life may have its ups and down with my sodding health but i can cope with that knowing i have I good bloke by me too who understands and cares.
laters
xxxxxxx

Rain drops keep falling on my head and the return of Ermintrude the motorcycling cow

I had to go for blood tests today, have been doing for the last 3 weeks for personal reasons. It was sodding raining and when i came out of the hospital it was raining even harder. The worst thing was I got soaked waiting for the flipping bus which of course was late.
Now in the normal world when it rains shoppers tend to stay at home all warm and toastie but today as the mad rush for Christmas presssies continues it was just as busy as ever. I got some wrapping paper and other crap I needed and headed home looking like a soggy moggy.
I've been writing my stories about Ermintrude the motorcycling cow again on facebook. The stories seem to entertain my friends and im hoping I will get them published sometime soon. Boris the bathroom spider and Joe the tree where the others. My imagination can run a muck at times and no one can say im boring..crazy yes but Ive always been loopy.
Adz been a little bit down the last week or so, tired and over done things but seems to be picking up now. I love him to bits and Im spending christmas with Adz and his family which Im looking forward to. Ive also got him megga pressies LOL
I'm a very lucky little kitty who is much loved and wanted by one special person. Kitty world is sparkly and megga happy right now and I know 2010 is going to be filled with alot of the same but better.
laters
xxxxx

Laptop's had swine flu

I've not been on here for a few day's due to my laptop being ill with swine flu. Its alot better now and Im up and running again. Have had a few down days with one thing or another. A very close friend has been ill and was taken into hospital. I must admit I thought I wasn't goping to see him again and its been quite stressful. Thankfully my friend is well on the mend but its going to take a good while before he runs a marathon.
everything with Adz is going well and he's back in Essex for a little while so hes happy with friends and family.
I'm looking forward to Christmas this year as I'm spending it with Adz. My family are an odd bunch and xmas never seems a happy time with them.
I'm also getting my cat Jasmine back, I pick her up in the new year. Ive missed her so much and haven't seen her in 4 months. its a long story of why I haven't got her here but its ended well. Jasmine is my bestest mate, she knows all my fears and dreams but never judges me or tells me I'm stupid like many people do around me.
I have huge hopes and dreams for 2010, and Im going to make dam sure Im going to get them all one way or another.
Now I've had a few days internet free its made me realise just how much I use my lappy. I felt very lonely and I hate that feeling. Ive got my kitty sparkle back and I'm happy again. Still we all have our down times, its part of life.
Looking at the big picture I'm one very lucky kitty, the thing I crave the most is being loved and wanted...and I have that in bucket loads
Laters xxxxxx

Santas on his way

After shopping yesterday and doing my back in i have had a lazy day at home. It was whilst drinking my tea this morning I realised it wasn't really long till Xmas and Santa will be well on his way.
My back was giving me some pain so I ended up going up to the hospital to A and E to make sure I hadn't done any real damage.
I had a very bad infection in my spine years ago and I was worried I might have that again. The doctor was really nice and said I'd pulled a muscle and just to take it easy for it to get better. I was relieved to hear it was something simple but it still bloody hurt.
My toothache has got better although its not gone altogether but at least I can eat and drink without that horrid pain shooting up my teeth.
Spoke to Adz on the phone a few times today which was nice. I love hearing his voice, mainly cos he's from the south and sounds so different to the folk up north. Adz voice is very soft which is the kind if he read you a story you could fall asleep to.
Life with CF hasn't been easy anyone who has it will tell you the same but after so many bad things happening in my life I finally think Ive found my soulmate. Its all Ive ever wanted in my life to have someone who understood and loved me for who I am and not what they wanted me to be, Adz takes me for me and doesn't want me to change. The main thing I feel towards him is love, and it feels nice.
I know no matter what our future holds I have a very dear friend for life in Adz but after years of wanting to be with him I'm not letting him go.
Laters xx

Christmas shopping and toothache

Well Ive been a good kitty and got ALL my christmas presant shopping done, that's the good bit. The bad bit is I still have sodding toothache. I'm going to the dentist soon so he can pull my jaw off and sort it it. I'll have something like an absess cos it hurts like buggery.
Its been strange not having Adz with me. He's back at work and not happy.Mind you I don't blame him as his work don't treat him right.
I've not done a great deal but now have a thing for cornflakes....I go thro strange cravings and I'm not pregnant lol.
The next few weeks I have appointments and then freedom for Christmas and New year YAAAYYY!!!!!!!
I'm staying with Adz over Xmas and new year which I'm really looking forward to.
Not much else to right today so i'm off for a well earned brew
laters dudes
xxxxx

Back home

I'm a well travelled kitty now and finding getting round the London underground quite easy now. My kidney's have been little buggers tho while Ive been away and the twichy feeling i get in my hands and feet are getting worse, this my friends could mean that dialysis is nearer or just my body being a spaz.
I've had a great week with Adz again the highlight for me at least was going to see Muse at the O2. I really enjoyed it and I think Ad did too. I love the time I spend with Adz although I get megga tired. The thing is if I slow down or stop I start to worry about things so I need to keep busy.
Had news about my sis and her health probs, we both have CF and my sis had liver probs. She has to see a liver dude as they've found a dark patch on her liver, so will know more when shes been to see him.
Trying to think of Xmas pressies for people, I swear it gets more and more difficult as the years roll on. I have however got Ads pressies sorted so thats a start.
I'm now back home for abit so will get my appointments out the way next week, CF clinic, GP and Renal....fantastic.
I'm still getting the hang of doing my kidney injections, its not too difficult but the needle is a lot longer than my insulin ones which kinda puts me off but im a brave kitten and keep trying till i get it.
My injections came today so I have the joy at doing one later. I would have still been with Ad but needed to get back for the delivery today as I have to sign for them.
Its been very windy here today so Ive stayed in. I was told I looked ill yesterday but to be honest I think its just cos I'm tired. I went to bed early and got up late but feel fine now. I know when i do start dialysis or if I'm lucky get a new kidney I will feel soooooo much better. I've forgotten what feeling well feels like now as I'm so used to feeling tired and being sick. My weight is down so CF clinic will have a moan..bugger.
Still on the bright side I'm very much in love and blissfully happy and that makes up for loads
Take it easy
xxxxx

If there's a God,he really doesn't like me

Got down to Adz OK after a late start on Wednesday, didn't do too much when I got there as I was tired. Thursday was a brillo day as we went to London ready to see Muse. We went to Nando's for tea then set off to the O2. Muse were fantastic as alway's and I really enjoyed it after all the trouble I had getting the dam tickets.
Friday we spent the day with the family of Adz friend who passed away. The family are so lovely and always make you feel wanted. Came home and went to bed. Couldn't get to sleep because of dam pains in my feet and hands. These God dam pains are getting worse and I'm sure its renal related. I'm on an injection every week that should help this restless feeling in my hands and feet but last night was the worst I have so far.
The trouble was I was so tired as well it seemed to make it worse, also the fact I was restless kept Adz awake as well which wasn't what I wanted. I was more worried about him not getting rest then about me. daft old kitty thinking of everyone else but herself.
Saturday we went shopping for a little while and came home, the wind was quite strong and I could have been used as a human kitty kite if you tied a piece of string to my ankle and i would have taken off. My weight is going further down which is worrying on its own as I'm eating yet not gaining weight. I think my blood sugars have been a little high from the stupid cold I had the other week.
All this said I'm still very happy just bloody fed up with my kidney's not being good and the thought of my own DIY transplant is very much at the front of my mind, the only thing is a dead cat kidney won't be big enough( only kidding). I have lots to cope with . having cystic fibrosis, diabetes and sight problems ive handled very well i think but kidnet failure has limited me very much in both what i can do and what i can eat. Most things people eat I can't have and the one thing I miss the most is pizza. I can't eat chocolate either so when I have a bad day I eat jellytots instead.
I have a very bad feeling that dialysis is getting very very close and it scares me to death. I've not done everything right in my life but I have tried very hard to get on track and have done so the last twelve years and still stuff goes bloody wrong....it does my head in at times.
Anyhoo, I'm still happy and smiley and keep pushing myseld to do things as if I don't I'll go mad and give up . Theres no way on Gods green earth I'm giving in to any of my health problems because they will win and I don't play that game..never have never will.
I'm also still very very much in love with Adz and have enjoyed my time with him soooo much. Funny how one person can change your life for the better. I never thought I'd ever get to be with Adz after liking him for soo long but I'm really pleased he wanted me too and feel very wanted, happy and loved.
take care dudes
xxxxx

Coughs and sneezes

Got up this morning to go to see my GP. I hate going to doctors surgeries cos of all the folk and their illnesses. One thing that really bloody get's me is people who never cover their mouths when they cough or cover their nose when they sneeze, bloody bug ridden humans. And of course there were a few at the quacks today, so I moved to the other side of the room round the corner, hopefully bugs can't work out how to get round corners.
I'm off down to Essex tomorrow, I'm getting tired with all the travelling but its worth it to be with Adz. Things between us are still brillopads, infact they couldn't be better
I've had some positive news today but can't share it yet, not till i have all my info anyhoo.
I's been freezing cold here today and going round town was a nightmare as my teeth started hurting with the cold. Anyhoo it was nice to get home, have a shower and speak to Adz on the old dog and bone.
laters
xxxx

Bouncing around like a Tigger

Feel like Ive finally caught up on sleep. Bloody renal failure, it makes me so dam tired and sick. If I can find a spare kidney knocking around I'll do a DIY transplant on my self.
That aside I'm like a Tigger on prozac bouncing around and very smiley. Got hold of the ticket place to see where my muse tickets were as they haven't come yet and the gig is on Thursday.
After ringing a million times I finally got through and asked what was going on. They got my e-mail wrong and said the tickets should be with me today or tomorrow. I bloody hope so they cost the earth.
I've had a few nice comments from my friends saying what a caring person I am after supporting Adz last week. I never thought I was as its just how i am. I'm pleased people see me like that tho as i do try.
It doesn't cost anything to be nice to others, just wish everyone saw it like me.
I've been busy getting washing done ready for going back down south on Wednesday. I miss Adz when I'm back up North. As much as I love the north the south is a dam sight warmer.
Not much else to say today so time to put the kettle on again, I'm addicted to tea
laters
xxxxxxxx

Back home for a few day's

I got back home from Essex yesterday after a very long day. I'm totally shattered. Friday was a very difficult day for many reason's. Adz was looking very pale and tired, it was his friends funeral on Friday and i had stayed an extra day to support him. I'm not sure if I was any help, I mean what the hell do you say to someone who's lost a dear friend.I just held his hand and was quiet for most of the day apart from talking to a few people at the wake afterwards.
The one thing that really stood out on Friday was that Adz friend was very much loved by many people. The flowers that people had taken were beautiful, but the whole thing was beautiful a real tribute to a very special lady.
Later on Friday me and Adz went out with one of his friends but Adz was not really in a happy mood aas you can understand.
Thursday was a fantastic day as we had a day in London after Adz had a review at the hospital. Both of us were tired out tho but it was fun.
I got back around 5pm Saturday totally shattered and not feeling great. My kidneys are being naughty and making me very tired, sick and achey. I went to bed around 11pm and didn't get up till 1.45 pm. Just goes to show Ive worn myself out.
I was very proud of Adz, he's shown strength and love to his friends family and helped them a great deal. I think I'm a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful person in my life.
I'm thinking of going to uni next year to do a degree in Art. I'm not sure if they'll except me but its worth a try. Ive wanted to do a degree for a while but lack of confidance kinda got me.
Anyhoo we shall see.. time for another brew I think LOL
Laters
xxxxx

bright stars and future plans

I had my hair cut today for the first time in 12 years, it was a little scary to sat the least. I've loved being with Adz and it feel's like Ive been here alot longer than a week. We had a drive out the other night which was great, we went for a long drive home after the film we saw and the sky was filled with stars if only for a short time.
I started to think of patrick and how he would have loved to have seen those stars that night. i'm sure everyone who has lost a loved one will say the same but patrick would have been the brightest star in the sky , for many reason's
We went to sort out flower's for Adz friends funeral on Friday, we chose the colours and hopefully it will look lovely.
Have been making plans for the future and things are looking the best they've been in a while. dare i say I'm quite excited about stuff.
Me and Adz are off to see muse next week( 12th), just hope the tickets are thee when i get home from Adz place.
I'm also going to go and see my Dad as its his birthday( 70th)
All in all I'm very happy. I love Adz with all my heart, I hope he holds up OK on Friday...poor lamb looks lost at times, I feel helpless as I never got to know his friend but I will be as supportive as I can, I sometimes just want to hold him and say its going to be ok but life with CF is never OK really and I can't change that for either of us. Life with the things we have to do and put up with is very difficult, the hardest thing is loosing our friends way to soon before their time.
Love you Adz..always will xx

Life keep's getting better

The time I'm spending with Adz is just fantastic, the thing is things are just getting better and better. I'm going to stay with Adz parents next week, I get on really well with them, they are really lovely people. We went to see the film Up tonight which was really good and was funny. Before we went to see the film we went bowling. I'm not brill at bowling by any means but I beat Adz by one point which I was very pleased with. Also had a game on suffleboard which I'm very good at as I've had practice when living near the seaside, and beat Adz at that too lol
Trying very hard to be a supportive girlfriend for Friday, its going to be a very difficult time.
Just love spending time with Adz and have not much really to write as you'll all get to bored of it all
laters
x

Down south and blissfully happy

Well After a rather busy day yest, it was nice to be back with Adz at his home. It was a very sad day yest as I met Adz's friends mum. It was difficult as I never met her b4 and she had just lost her child.
I'm a good person when it comes to sitting and listening to people, and that's really all i could do. It was  hard to see someone so upset and in disbelief and all i wanted to do was cuddle both Adz friends mum and Adz.
I can be very strong for people in these tough times but this was difficult for me seeing Adz so upset and he's clearly been crying.
Today was another day of just talking and having a look round town. I bought some DVD's that we could both watch and we also went for dinner with one of Adz friends.
All in all apart from the sadness of loosing someone I'm totally happy and feel at home here. For the first time in years finally things are going well and I can look forward.
I'm a very happy little kitty and very much in love.
Health wise I'm ok and starting to feel Ok but my kidneys are still hurting. I have felt abit " off" the last few day's with feeling headachey and sick but I know this is to do with my kidneys, so I need to drink more water... I'll try.
A bit of a short one as its late so take care
later gater
xxxxxx

Another life lost

After my earlier post I'm very sad to sad that Adz lost his friend.. I never knew this friend but my heart is saddened to hear this news and my thoughts and prayers go to this person's family, friends and loved ones..and to my darling Adz xxxxxxxx

Sadness that CF causes

I'm one excited kitty, I'm going to the big smoke tomorrow and meeting Adz. I'm soooo loooking forward to seeing him.
Sadly one of Adz friends is very very poorly. This is how cruel CF can be and its not fair by any means. All us CF's deal with loosing friend's to it at some point in our lives but it never get's any easier the older you get. Sadly alot of sufferers pass away at a far too young age and this is difficult for anyone to get their heads round.
I remember I lost 18 friends in two years to CF, they were all under 30, four of those people were very very close friends of mine and i loved them very much. There's not a day gone by that those people are not in my thought's.
I feel for Adz as there's nothing anyone can do now except pray and hope. His friend is in God's hand's now and if your listening up there just make this person strong enough to get through this.
I'm very lucky CF wise although everything else has had it, my lungs seem to be good and I've had no IV treatment for 18 months plus my poor old kidneys wouldn't cope with being stuffed full of more drugs.
I've had a really normal life even though I'm far from normal I quite enjoy being nuts and not taking life so seriously.
I'm going to be as supportive for Adz as I can be, I wish there was more I could do but this is a road noone can help with
Lifes a bugger
I am going to love every second with Adz, I miss him when Im not with him. I am though a very happy yet tired kitty after todays travels to Hospital. My veins are crap infact I don't think theres blood in me at all. Julie my lovely nurse got a nice little fat vein in the back of my hand. It was all going well when the veib blew and a rather large lump appeared. We got what blood was needed thankfully but its left me with a rather big bruise on my hand...I have a war wound LOL
I got back home early afternoon and started packing. Why is it girls always have way too much stuff. I'm going for a week but it looks like i'm going for a month. I repacked fopur times and theres still tons of it, mainly tablets and crap.
Anyhoo packed and ready to go..train at 8AM so its an early start for kitty.
will update when I can
and Angels do your thing and protect Adz friend...
Later gater
xxxx

Kitty's going to London

Wellthe weather was so dull this morning I had to derag myself out of my warm bed. Had to get up as I was excited because I was going to buy my ticket's for going down to London on Thursday to see my Adz. I'm going to be spending a week with him and I really can't wait.
Got into town which was megga busy and for for strange reason unknown to me and the rest of the bus there were loads of police everywhere. Anyhoo I got off the bus, got my ticket's and then went off round town to buy a few bits and pay bill's.
Went to marks and sparks to get something yummy for tea and came out to go get the bus for home. I can never understand why people still walk into you when you have a million bag's of stuff, its like their glued to that one bit and won't move...Div's.
As I walked to the bus stop I saw the million police cars and van blocking off the road..Great!
I asked what was cracking off to the policeman stood waving cars the other way. A blokes decided he wants to jump off the building over there so we cant let you go passed. This sounded a good idea as I didn't want the guy to throw his self off the building and land on me.
Got home OK in the end but I felt so tired, I text Adz a few times and then fell asleep. I feel much better than I did, I get quite sick when im that tired.
Anyhoo I'm at hospital tomoz for blood tests then it will be Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my Xmases at once, I really can't wait to see Adz and hold him
Anyhoo I'm off for a brew and a rather nice vinilla and strawberry cupcake from M and S..yummy

Hypa happy kitty..the smiles never end

Super happy as I've found out Adz can go home later on this week and i'm going down south to stay with him a week. I'm like an over excited kid at Xmas high on chocolate....Oh that;s normal then. I blame the white malteasers I had yesterday( which was a treat as i'm not allowed to eat them really)
Still had a really good day and went swimming!!!! have had really daft thought's at trying the marathon again..don't know why cos its bloody hard work but feel I need to aim high and have another go..who know's I might get round the whole way.
Anyhoo the swimming went well, six full lengths and NO stopping...go kitty...
I was very knackered by the end of it and had to go get some lucazade as I had the wobblydoo's. ( wobblydoo's are hypo's, when your bloodsugar levels drop) Yes I'm diabetic as well, God had a master plan for me when i was born but forgot half way through what it was, so just gave me CF, diabetes, bad sight in one eye and renal failure just to see if I could kick its ass..... and Ive done that quite a few times now mwahahahahah.
The main thing is Adz is on the mend and going home, can't wait to see him. Being over 300 miles away from each other is god dam difficult but we alway's make the most of our time together. We get on like fish and chips, its fantastic.
My next mission in life is world domination.. not sure if the world's ready for kitty, maybe abit too kookie for them but one things for sure the world would be a bloody fun, happy place to live.
Well Ive got to get washing done as i have no clean stuff for my travel's unless i go in my bike leathers!!
later gater
xxx

kitty's in love

I don't write two posts on my blog's normally but my mind is racing and i write good stuff when it's like this.
My life at the moment is going great, its never been this brill before. I can't believe how I feel About Adz, I never set out to fall for anyone never mind a fellow CF. I've grown to love this guy so much over the last few months, feeling's I thought I'd never have for anyone ever again. I suppose it goes to show when your not looking for love it can suddenly creep up on you and smack you at the back of the head.
I've only ever been in love once before and sadly he was lost to CF. Now I'm finding that I'm in love again for only the second time in my life and I tell you something, it feels fantastic. Itsstrange that Ive found love with yet another CF, maybe cos we understand each others health problems...I don't know.
My life has changed for the better I know that. Year's of relationship's that ended badly and now one Ive only ever dreamt of. It may sound funny but I have to keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming and that Adz is really with me.
I can dare to think of a future with this guy, others Ive been with there was no chance of doing that. I know whatever the future holds for me and Adz that Ive got a friend for life in him, not just a friend but a best friend, to be honest I can never see my life without him now whether he's my partner or just a friend. But I know he's a very very important person to me and yes I'm in love with him and very proud to say so
Until another time..take care
later gater
xx

Let's go fly a kite....it's very windy!!

I didn't get to sleep till around 4Am , 1= because it was so windy and 2= I was texing Adz. Anyhoo I got up late and it was still windy..a good day to fly a kite hehe. The trouble is even if i had the energy to go fly a kite I could end up in Jersey or France as my weight is low at the moment and it doesn't take much to blow me over.
I was meant to be going out on my friend's motorbike( pillion) today but its too windy for that too and it would be hard work riding and keeping the bike from doing a sizzlesnake across the road.
So today will be sat at home listening to music and drinking tea, which is bliss to me. Also my kidneys have decided to give me a break today from pain so I'm like a " normal" nutter today.
To be honest I'm getting use to being in pain most days now with my kidney's and at times its hard to remember life before all this crap...and it is crap. My whole body sometimes feels its giving up on me, its a constant battle to keep from screaming out loud...STOP, I HAD ENOUGH! and although I'm a happy go lucky girlie i can sometimes hide away from the world and feel like that.
I'm pleased I have a understanding boyfriend. I don't have to explain why im quiet or not smiling if I have a bad day cos after all Adz has days like that as well. Although having cystic fibrosis really suck's at times, its made me a better person and i have determination to get on and do things in life just to say to my docs ...ner I did it!
Hopefully Adz will be going home from hospital soon, I miss him. I just hope he get's a break from it all as he's spent alot of time in hospital the last few weeks. The first month we were together he was in hospital. He makes me blissfully happy its daft. Wer hope to go skiing soon, which will be soooo funny as I can't ski and will end up most of the time on my bum. Motorbikes I can handle..ski's is another thing and abit dodgy. One thing's for sure if all else fail's I know I'm dam good at snowball fights!!!!!!

Drip drip drip...its raining!

Woke up late this morning to a horrible drip, drip drip sound. At first it weas panick thinking that the bathroom might have flooded. In my dizzyness of trying to wake up fast and seeing what was making the sound, I got my foot caught in my charger lead for the phone and fell flat on my face.
After recovering from falling over I went in search of the drip. Was very relieved to find that it wasn't the bathroom tap dripping or that the bathroom had flooded but in fact was raining outside and it was nextdoors cuttering that was blocked with leaves and the water was dripping onto our side of the house.
Missing Adz ( Adam) as he's still in hospital. He's having a tough time of it as not only as he got his self to get right but one of his friends is very ill. Cystic fibrosis is a total smeghead at times. We make such close friends who have it then sad stuff happens and their taken from us.
Hopefully I will see Adz soon, I've done so much with him it's been fab. We've been together just over two months and Ive never been as happy as I am with Adz.
I was very pleased with myself yesterday as I got to do my new injection for my anaemia. It took six attempts at getting the needle in and i was getting in abit of a tizwas with it but I got there in the end.
I kinda thought like a dart player in the end and just throw it at my podgy bit of leg( not that I have much podge at the moment). Anyhoo it all went swimmingly as they say , just hope I can do it better next week.......sigh.
I feel alot brighter today although the weather isn't, can't believe how simple thing's get me so God dam tired. Having renal failure aint much fun and Ive started to notice little changes in my health.
I get more tired and need to sleep more, my weights going down although Im eating and the worst thing is the breathlessness. I never got breathless before even with my CF. Looking at me now you would never think I did 13 miles of the London marathon!!!!!!!!
We have a really good gym near to where I live with a huge swimming pool. I think I might join it and at least start swimming again, God know's it won't hurt and maybe it might get me back to my full fitness again but its worth having ago.
I have many ideas's floating around in my kittyworld head, some are practical some are plain nutty but one thing's for sure im never bored.
I like being in kittyworld it feels a happy place its when kittyworld and the real world meet when its not as great but sadly I like many of you have to deal with the real world.
One thing I know for sure after years of feeling alone, Ive found a few good friends who have made my world a better place ( Andy, Nikki, Clive, and another Andy).
The one special person who's made the biggest difference is Adz, think it's because he understands the crap we have to put up with at times with CF and also he's a real good, kind person. After having such a bad time with other relationship's it's so nice to have one that is filled with love , laughter and smiles.... I'm truely blessed.
Think I might post one or two of my stories on here soon, if nothing else it will be make people smile.
Anyhoo that's all for now folks
Later gater
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

This kitty Rock's

Woke up at 6am this morning with flipping toothache. I think Ive got abit of cold in my jaw to be honest after bein out in the cold last weekend at the wartime weekend. I got up and had some painkillers, then a shower and feel much better.
Today is a new stage in this kitty's life. I start my weekly injections of Aranesp for my anaemia. I'm getting use to the strange thing's i have to do with renal failure, but its still all new and the thought of APD is still worring me. APD is the dialysis Ive decided to do when the time comes. It means I'm hooked up to a machine for 9 hours over night but I think its better than going to hospital 3 times aweek. Also I can do APD at home and no need to go into hospital and most importantly I can still travel.
Hopefully Adz will have better news from the docs today. My life has changed so much since meeting him. He's a kind soul with a very good heart. No matter what the future hold's for us I know we will be best friends for life. Adz has had a massive impact on my life, he makes me blissfully happy and my CF team have noticed how smiley and happy I am. I also seem more positive with lot's of thing's...surprising how the right person can make you a better person.
The trolley coins are selling well..I'm still waiting for a new batch but blame the post as they are on strike.
For one small kitty Ive gone through alot in my life. Ive had cataracts in both eyes and for a few months lived life as a blind person. I always remember the first things I saw when I had my cataracts done. In my hospital there are two very large paintings of flowered gardens. The colours are bright blues, whites and purples. these paintings were the first things I saw when i got my sight back. It was so bright and beautiful it took my breath away. I make a point of looking at those paintings every time I'm in that part of my hospital.
It made me realise we shouldn't take our sight for granted and we should see it as a gift.
Not long after that I went to Disneyland in Paris for New year. They had a brilliant fireworks display to welcome in the New year. As I watched the fireworks I had tears rolling down my face, not cos I was sad but because I could see the beautiful sight before me. It all sounds so simple but I was given a second chance to see which meant more than anything in the world to me.
The reason for the blindness was my diabetes and although i can see ok its far from perfect and the right eye isn't great at all.
Still I still think I'm a very lucky kitty and CF wise I'm as fit as a flea which im grateful for.
Anyhoo that's enough for now, I have to decide what colour to do my toe nails hehehe
until the next time
laters
Ali
xx

another step towards smileyworld

I feel much better today than yesterday. Having Chronic renal failure ain't much fun. It makes you tired and feel quite sick most of the time. I have to start some injections which will help my anaemia which is common with people who have renal failre. The main cause of anaemia is when the kidney's cannot produce the correct amount of the hormone erthropoietin. It means ive not enough oxygen in my blood which makes me tired and breathless. The Aranesp injection should help with this.
On a brighter note Adz( Adam) my boyfriend is doing OK, although he's got an achy chest after doing his blows for his lung function tests. His lung function when he went into hospital was 49% which isn't good at all. After doing his blows today the LF ( lung function) has gone up to 71% which is a massive improvement, I'm really very proud of him and happy thing's are going in the right direction.
Finally I got round to getting my bedroom tidy and found a massive spider under a pile of clothes. I hate spiders but was brave and got rid of it.
Been chatting with my friend Andy on FB, he's kept me entertained while Adz is away and has no PC. I'm a very luck little kitty to have Adz and a few very good friends.
It's very dull here today, im not keen on winter, i like the sun and warmth too much LOL
Well not much else to write
Laters
xxx

Good friends and happy times

This is a second time I've tried keeping a blog but the last one wasn't too great, so I'm hoping this one will be loads better.
Life has changed alot for this kitty, the main thing being in a relationship with Adz. Both of us have cystic fibrosis and CF's aren't meant to be involved with each other because of cross infection. I had to think long and hard about this but there's something about Adz i love. He's straight to the point and takes no rubbish which makes a difference as most people are too affraid to say what they think.
I've also started a really fab friendship with Andy who also has CF, feel's like I've known the guy years, we get on really well and its nice having him to chat to.
I've not been looking forward to the winter for many reasons...kittys don't like rain or cold. Plus it means the end of motorbike riding for the best part of 6 months. I love motorbikes and life without them is horrid. it's my one way of getting away from the hum drum world of CF, diabetes and renal failure( I have all three for my sins, i think God had a plan for me but forgot what it was and gave me this lot to put up with).
I'm on my eighth cup of tea of the day, love tea and think i must drink much more than a normal person should...mind you i'm far far from normal ...kookie is the word, which i like anyhoo.
will try my best to keep this blog going, and hope to put some of my little stories on here for you all to read, if nothing else it will make you smile
laters
xxxxx