Its nearly three weeks since my nightmare kidneys began to go daft on me. Ive been very close to dying this time, my function went from 17% to 4% and i never ever want to feel like that again. I swear to God I would never have pulled through if it wasn't for Adz. I'm forever grateful for everything hes done for me and I can truely say hes a star and I love him more than I could ever love any one. He's proved to me how much he cares and loves me and for the first time in my adult life I can say Ive found true love.
This has shook me up abit with just how quickly my health went down hill, i guess i took my health for granted at times as ive always been a fit CF. My problems aren't CF tho and sadly once kidneys pack in they don't recover.
Throughtout all of this of course my family haven't been brill with my sister being a moo and having a hizzy fit and not speaking to any of us. She was quite hurtful saying that the Drs couldn't do anything more for her( she has CF and has had problems with her liver) but i was OK as I'll have a machine keeping me alive, makes you laugh don't it.
I'm hoping to get out of this nuthouse today( you can tell Im feeling better lol) Ive been moved into a bay with five beds and all old women who fart and moan about everything and anything, God if only they knew eh.
I know we all have a moan now and again but Jeeze this lot are on 24/7.
I hope I never get like that when Im 80.
I want to take a few mins just to thank my friends who have sent lovely messages on facebook for me. Its kept me positive and smiling.
Thanks to my two Fionas, one for the balloons and teddy, the other for stopping by on your way to work and getting me a few bits from the shop, Arther Fionas hubby for the bagpuss frame lol. Donna for her lovely pink kitty and balloons, Nikki for chatting on FB when I was bored and Adam, who is my world and I love him just for everything hes done even tho he wasn't feeling brill his self with a cold.
So fingers crossed that I get out today
laters
xxxxxx
Monday, 4 January 2010
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Should have been a great Xmas instead it was bollocks
Sorry for not posting sooner but alot has happened to this little kitty and I wish it was good news but it aint.
I set off to get to Adz place on themonday like planned. I was tired but wasn't feeling too bad. when i got to Adz I was really feeling knackered but put it down to the journey.
Tuesday I woke up feeling worse and very dizzy and sick. I couldn't seem to wake up properly so we stayed in for the day. This dizzy feeling kept getting worse as the week went on, almost like i was drunk and i could walk straight, the feeling was horrible and quite scary.
come Friday I was really looking bad and had bad acid reflux. I wobbled out of bed and went to the kitchen to get something to help the acid.
As i took the stuff I brought my head forward but couldn't stop myself and smacked my head on the kitchen work top splitting the side of my head very very close to my eye. I fell to the floor which is where Adz found me..bleeding
Adz got me to the sofa and took my temp which was very low. He wrapped me up in clothes to try and get me warm but it didn't seem to do anything.
Adz said he was taking me to A & E to get seen as I could see he was worried
We spent the day in A&E and I ended up on the Admin ward while they decided what to do.
The reason for me being ill was my kidneys and my calcium levels were sky high.
I spent 4 days there before Adz had to drive me 255 miles back to my hospital because noone could get transport to take me back. i'd had no treatment in those few days and wasn't improving.
I got back to my hospital and spent my xmas day all alone with nothing..no presants, no family total shite day.
Ive got my lappy in hospital nopw which is why im able to update you all now. My kidneys have packed up and im waiting for the Drs to make their minds up about dialysis. As for new year well im going to be in hospital as im too ill for them to let me go in case something happens. All my plans for new year are out the window and i feel alone and frightened. im trying hard to keep my chin up but its difficult.
I want to say a huge thank you to Adz for looking after me, comming to see me every day, buying food in so i could have a good meal, and for driving me 255 miles back to get my treatment sorted. he was a total star and im forever grateful and most of all i love him with all my heart
laters xxx
I set off to get to Adz place on themonday like planned. I was tired but wasn't feeling too bad. when i got to Adz I was really feeling knackered but put it down to the journey.
Tuesday I woke up feeling worse and very dizzy and sick. I couldn't seem to wake up properly so we stayed in for the day. This dizzy feeling kept getting worse as the week went on, almost like i was drunk and i could walk straight, the feeling was horrible and quite scary.
come Friday I was really looking bad and had bad acid reflux. I wobbled out of bed and went to the kitchen to get something to help the acid.
As i took the stuff I brought my head forward but couldn't stop myself and smacked my head on the kitchen work top splitting the side of my head very very close to my eye. I fell to the floor which is where Adz found me..bleeding
Adz got me to the sofa and took my temp which was very low. He wrapped me up in clothes to try and get me warm but it didn't seem to do anything.
Adz said he was taking me to A & E to get seen as I could see he was worried
We spent the day in A&E and I ended up on the Admin ward while they decided what to do.
The reason for me being ill was my kidneys and my calcium levels were sky high.
I spent 4 days there before Adz had to drive me 255 miles back to my hospital because noone could get transport to take me back. i'd had no treatment in those few days and wasn't improving.
I got back to my hospital and spent my xmas day all alone with nothing..no presants, no family total shite day.
Ive got my lappy in hospital nopw which is why im able to update you all now. My kidneys have packed up and im waiting for the Drs to make their minds up about dialysis. As for new year well im going to be in hospital as im too ill for them to let me go in case something happens. All my plans for new year are out the window and i feel alone and frightened. im trying hard to keep my chin up but its difficult.
I want to say a huge thank you to Adz for looking after me, comming to see me every day, buying food in so i could have a good meal, and for driving me 255 miles back to get my treatment sorted. he was a total star and im forever grateful and most of all i love him with all my heart
laters xxx
Sunday, 13 December 2009
excited
I'm So excited now, Im going to Adz tomorrow for Christmas. Ive missed him so much its daft. Im pleased that im started to pick up abit to although im still very tired and seem to sleep for hours on end now. Having kidney failure is making me see that life isn't going to be easy by far. Im struddling to do simple things like shower and wash my hair, I have no car so Im dependent on public transport or friends, neither are helpful at times. I feel quite scared for my future as I know Im going to end up having a carer as i can't do these normal simple things any more. I feel like my life is slipping away and with it my inderpendance.
Ive never had any help from anyone before and this really feels very strange to me. I have hopes and dreams I want to do but the last few weeks of me being unwell has put things on hold for now.
Just wish there was something simple I could do to be the kitty I used to be. Five years ago I was running and swimming, doing yoga three times a week. Now I have the energy of a tadpole and can write my blog and drink tea. Think the day that I can't drink tea is the day my life ends for good. I love my tea.
im looking forward to Xmas and spending morte time with the man I love. the feelings I have for this guy are unreal. something Ive only ever heard from others or read in books.
I see a very happy future with Adz, hes my everything and seems to get me where others don't.
I also hope that those in the CF world all get their wishes if their waiting for a lung transplant. It must be very difficult for them and their families. I'm thinking of one young lady called Jess, shes had a rough ride and now really needs those new lungs.
When I have a down day I think of people li8ke Jess and then everythings put right. What the hell do I need to moan about when theres a young las waiting for new lungs. She shows more strength then I ever could. Its people like her who inspire me. Keeping everything crossed for jess and others that santa gives them the greatest gift in the world......... being able to breathe free and a start of a new life.
much lovies to ya all
xxxx
Ive never had any help from anyone before and this really feels very strange to me. I have hopes and dreams I want to do but the last few weeks of me being unwell has put things on hold for now.
Just wish there was something simple I could do to be the kitty I used to be. Five years ago I was running and swimming, doing yoga three times a week. Now I have the energy of a tadpole and can write my blog and drink tea. Think the day that I can't drink tea is the day my life ends for good. I love my tea.
im looking forward to Xmas and spending morte time with the man I love. the feelings I have for this guy are unreal. something Ive only ever heard from others or read in books.
I see a very happy future with Adz, hes my everything and seems to get me where others don't.
I also hope that those in the CF world all get their wishes if their waiting for a lung transplant. It must be very difficult for them and their families. I'm thinking of one young lady called Jess, shes had a rough ride and now really needs those new lungs.
When I have a down day I think of people li8ke Jess and then everythings put right. What the hell do I need to moan about when theres a young las waiting for new lungs. She shows more strength then I ever could. Its people like her who inspire me. Keeping everything crossed for jess and others that santa gives them the greatest gift in the world......... being able to breathe free and a start of a new life.
much lovies to ya all
xxxx
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Love and Loss
I've been thinking of those who have come into and out of my life the last few days. I've had many relationships fail because of the other person cheating..I never understood why people do that. One of the people I loved 100% and lost was Patrick. Paddy was a top dude with so much love and laughter to give. When he passed away a huge hole was left in my life and I don't think theres a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Adz isn't one for writing I love you much, it kinda hurts in a way as I love this guy so much and I often wonder if he feels the same way. I know i'm not like one of his Exs and never will be, I also know he thought the world of her. I guess everyone gets insurcure and worries ...well thats me.
Only time will tell if it will work, tho if it doesn't Im not going thro another relationship again...it hurts too much.
I'm going to see Adz next week, I'm excited as I haven't seen him for a bit. starting to feel better altho the sickie feelings don't go till afternoon... bloody kidneys.
Trying to write more stories to keep me busy and on Friday Im seeing my mate mick...YAY!
Well thats all as I need a brew
laters fellow hedgehogs
xxx
Only time will tell if it will work, tho if it doesn't Im not going thro another relationship again...it hurts too much.
I'm going to see Adz next week, I'm excited as I haven't seen him for a bit. starting to feel better altho the sickie feelings don't go till afternoon... bloody kidneys.
Trying to write more stories to keep me busy and on Friday Im seeing my mate mick...YAY!
Well thats all as I need a brew
laters fellow hedgehogs
xxx
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
It's tough work being a kitty
I've been busy with tons of things trying to get ready for my visit to Adz. I'm a very romantic little kitty at heart and love to write poems. I have written a few since being with Adz. I find being away from him difficult, never been this much in love before..its great.
I've been suffering with tiredness and feeling dizzy and sick the last week. Its all to do with my renal failure and it gets me down.
I used to be able to run 8 miles a day and swim for as long as i wanted about 5 years ago but now I find it difficult to hold a cup of tea. The day I can't srink tea on my own is the day I end it all I tell you. I hope that if Im lucky enough to get a new kidney that I can get my fitness back to that level again if not better.
In 2005 I did 13 miles of the London marathon, which I was megga proud of as I onl;y trained for three months before and was also told only to do a mile as my renal function was getting worse. Of course I never listen to the docs as if I did I'd never get on in life and do amasing things.
When I'm 100% again I promise I'll do the whole marathon and stick two fingers up to those who think i can't do anything.
I'm lucky CF wise as I have little problems that way, my diabetes is ok but its hard to keep on top of sugar levels with the diet I have.
Life is hard for us all I guess but God to have good health would be fabaroo. I'm sick of being sick and want to party hard like a rock star but sadly theres none of that... well till Xmas then bugger it all.
My life apart from my health is fantastic... I can't believe how Adz has changed my life, hes a good soul and I think the world of him
Anyhoo thats all for now
later gaters
xxx
I've been suffering with tiredness and feeling dizzy and sick the last week. Its all to do with my renal failure and it gets me down.
I used to be able to run 8 miles a day and swim for as long as i wanted about 5 years ago but now I find it difficult to hold a cup of tea. The day I can't srink tea on my own is the day I end it all I tell you. I hope that if Im lucky enough to get a new kidney that I can get my fitness back to that level again if not better.
In 2005 I did 13 miles of the London marathon, which I was megga proud of as I onl;y trained for three months before and was also told only to do a mile as my renal function was getting worse. Of course I never listen to the docs as if I did I'd never get on in life and do amasing things.
When I'm 100% again I promise I'll do the whole marathon and stick two fingers up to those who think i can't do anything.
I'm lucky CF wise as I have little problems that way, my diabetes is ok but its hard to keep on top of sugar levels with the diet I have.
Life is hard for us all I guess but God to have good health would be fabaroo. I'm sick of being sick and want to party hard like a rock star but sadly theres none of that... well till Xmas then bugger it all.
My life apart from my health is fantastic... I can't believe how Adz has changed my life, hes a good soul and I think the world of him
Anyhoo thats all for now
later gaters
xxx
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Happy being kitty
Ive had the best day today. spent most of it with my bestest friend in the world who has just come out of hospital. He's been a total sweetheart and has given a joint gift for me and Adz which was the kindest thing anyones ever done.
All exciting stuff from now on, the next week will fly by as im megga busy Mon, Tues and Wed but this is good cos then on the 14th im off down south for Crimbo!!!!!! WOOHOO
Watching the X factor and been online since teatime but enjoying being on the tinternet and drinking tea. My house mates out tonight which is good.
Spent yesterday trying to tidy my bedroom which looked like a jumble sale. I can now see the floor and what colour my carpet is meant to be instead of jeans , socks, shirts and plastic bags.
Not doing alot tomorrow but must post my Xmas cards. Think i'm ready for xmas now got all my pressies done and wrapped.
Wrapping presants isn't a talent I was born with and me and the tape fell out many times.
My kidneys are being good...Shhhhhhhhhh. My left kidnet is cecil and the right is Burt and cecil is the naughty one. He gives me alot of pain and makes me feel soooo sick. Since having my Iron infection the other week I feel less tired which is brillopads...till the next one anyhoo
Im so blissfully happy, Adz has made my life such a brighter place. Im very much loved and in love life may have its ups and down with my sodding health but i can cope with that knowing i have I good bloke by me too who understands and cares.
laters
xxxxxxx
All exciting stuff from now on, the next week will fly by as im megga busy Mon, Tues and Wed but this is good cos then on the 14th im off down south for Crimbo!!!!!! WOOHOO
Watching the X factor and been online since teatime but enjoying being on the tinternet and drinking tea. My house mates out tonight which is good.
Spent yesterday trying to tidy my bedroom which looked like a jumble sale. I can now see the floor and what colour my carpet is meant to be instead of jeans , socks, shirts and plastic bags.
Not doing alot tomorrow but must post my Xmas cards. Think i'm ready for xmas now got all my pressies done and wrapped.
Wrapping presants isn't a talent I was born with and me and the tape fell out many times.
My kidneys are being good...Shhhhhhhhhh. My left kidnet is cecil and the right is Burt and cecil is the naughty one. He gives me alot of pain and makes me feel soooo sick. Since having my Iron infection the other week I feel less tired which is brillopads...till the next one anyhoo
Im so blissfully happy, Adz has made my life such a brighter place. Im very much loved and in love life may have its ups and down with my sodding health but i can cope with that knowing i have I good bloke by me too who understands and cares.
laters
xxxxxxx
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Rain drops keep falling on my head and the return of Ermintrude the motorcycling cow
I had to go for blood tests today, have been doing for the last 3 weeks for personal reasons. It was sodding raining and when i came out of the hospital it was raining even harder. The worst thing was I got soaked waiting for the flipping bus which of course was late.
Now in the normal world when it rains shoppers tend to stay at home all warm and toastie but today as the mad rush for Christmas presssies continues it was just as busy as ever. I got some wrapping paper and other crap I needed and headed home looking like a soggy moggy.
I've been writing my stories about Ermintrude the motorcycling cow again on facebook. The stories seem to entertain my friends and im hoping I will get them published sometime soon. Boris the bathroom spider and Joe the tree where the others. My imagination can run a muck at times and no one can say im boring..crazy yes but Ive always been loopy.
Adz been a little bit down the last week or so, tired and over done things but seems to be picking up now. I love him to bits and Im spending christmas with Adz and his family which Im looking forward to. Ive also got him megga pressies LOL
I'm a very lucky little kitty who is much loved and wanted by one special person. Kitty world is sparkly and megga happy right now and I know 2010 is going to be filled with alot of the same but better.
laters
xxxxx
Now in the normal world when it rains shoppers tend to stay at home all warm and toastie but today as the mad rush for Christmas presssies continues it was just as busy as ever. I got some wrapping paper and other crap I needed and headed home looking like a soggy moggy.
I've been writing my stories about Ermintrude the motorcycling cow again on facebook. The stories seem to entertain my friends and im hoping I will get them published sometime soon. Boris the bathroom spider and Joe the tree where the others. My imagination can run a muck at times and no one can say im boring..crazy yes but Ive always been loopy.
Adz been a little bit down the last week or so, tired and over done things but seems to be picking up now. I love him to bits and Im spending christmas with Adz and his family which Im looking forward to. Ive also got him megga pressies LOL
I'm a very lucky little kitty who is much loved and wanted by one special person. Kitty world is sparkly and megga happy right now and I know 2010 is going to be filled with alot of the same but better.
laters
xxxxx
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